A Possible New Posting?
Ssh! I have a secret to tell, but I don’t want it to taint our relationship.
Argh!! I might as well blurt it out: We applied to go on another posting!
I have very mixed feelings about all of this. The pain and disappointed of not going to Mozambique is still raw. At the same time, we are very happy and feel content with our home routine here in Gatineau. The kids like their school and we hang out with old friends regularly (Covid restrictions notwithstanding) and have also made new connections with people in our neighbourhood.
But the travel bug is in our blood and there is the possibility that we might be posted overseas again. This brings new emotions: hope mixed with apprehension. I quietly, secretly even, read up on the new country: the travel guides, tourist books, recent news posts, expat Facebook groups, novels with the country as a backdrop, etc.
At the same time, I afraid to hope and afraid to dream.
I dont want to get my hopes up, I fear they might be dashed once again. We spent most of last summer worrying about Mozambique, buying and packing for three years in the sun and exciting animal safaris -for it never to materialize.
I also spent many sleepless nights worrying about wether I will be able to keep my job. At the moment, I love the opportunity to work remotely from Gatineau collaborating on a web resource for teachers and educators. This opportunity for professional development feels a bit like returning to University. I can read textbooks and infuse the theory with my experience teaching in the classroom. I wonder a lot about work life balance. Can the modern woman really have it all?
The not knowing is the hardest part. Always that lurking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s hard to ignore. Truth be told, the anxiety and worry are exhausting. There are many forms to fill out and hoops to jump through. We are now waiting for the approval from Health Canada. We are told we to expect an answer in two weeks, that was over two months ago. So I make sure to cover all my bases. I sign up the kids for several schools. Make back-up plans. We decide not to tell the kids. Nor do we tell many friends -just in case the posting does not work out. From past experience, we know that it’s important to always have a plan B.
I won’t give more details yet because I don’t want to jinx it.