March 29, 2020July 6, 2020 Amy

Our Daily Routine

Canada

Each and every one of us is experiencing stress and anxiety at the moment with the Coronavirus pandemic constantly interrupting our thoughts. I do not want to minimize anyone’s hardship in any way. My personal outlet is writing. Below is a post on tips for coping with being at home alone with your kids. I am a teacher with over 15 years’ experience in the elementary classroom. I am also a mother of a five-year-old boy and a (nearly) three-year-old girl. With so much uncertainty around us, I recognize that I am in a very fortunate situation. No one ever chooses to get sick or lose their job. If my blog can help just one person, then it will have been worth it.

Start by taking a deep breath. Now let it go. You are doing a great job! These are very difficult times for everyone. Remember you must first and foremost take care of yourself. The air hostess remind us before a flight: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. I use the Calm app regularly. Find what suits you. It might be a jog, coloring, baking, sewing, indulging in a movie marathon or anything in between.

Slow down.

Have fun.

Enjoy those precious cuddles (which always come after a fight.)

Next, you need to get organized. Make a list of achievable goals. There are tons of lists and suggestions out there on Pinterest, Facebook, Parenting Websites. This might seem overwhelming at first because there are so many suggestions you don’t know where to start (here is mine: Ideas of Things to do.) I have a book called “1001 activités avec mon enfant – une mine d’idées de jeux et d’activités pour favoriser l’éveil et l’épanouissement de votre enfant” which I have read from cover to cover and methodically organized with Post-its. NOT! To be honest, I’ve yet to do one single activity properly (and this after 14 solid days of quarantine.) KISS: Keep It Super Simple.

Instead, begin with what you like to do and use the materials you already have at home. Go ahead, let your kids raid the recycling bin and together let your imagination lead the way. No one cares if the final product is perfect for Pinterest (my MIL thought our spaceships were phallic looking, but the kids were still proud of their rocket mobile.) Let your inner child guide you, their ideas might just surprise you. It’s more meaningful when you give them your undivided attention rather than a picture-perfect craft. Focus on the skills they already have and nudge them a little further by scaffolding on what they already know (read more on this educational theory here.)

Project examples

 

Yesterday, my son wanted to learn how to write the letters in his name. I had him trace “T” and “r.” He focused his attention for 10 minutes then asked to play. I praised him for his effort and next we agreed he could build a tower with his blocks. Tomorrow, I’ll aim for 15 minutes tracing “i” and “s.” If I push too much, he’ll push back and refuse to work at all. If I make it too easy, he won’t feel challenged. And there is so much more to school that rote learning exercises.

On a regular school day, the routine ebbs and flows with both periods of intense learning followed by less structured, but equally important, activities, snack time and recess. After an intense period of structured (adult led) learning there is always recess. You can do the same at home. By giving your child your undivided attention during a craft, or playing along with their imaginary game, you will reap the rewards of free play afterwards (a good time to catch up on those pesky work emails.)

It helped me tremendously to set a routine. Everyone in the house gets dressed in the morning. My husband still puts on work pants, dress shirt and tie before going downstairs to work from home on the computer in the basement. My five-year-old also puts on a tie and asks for his own “work” schedule (more on age appropriate school work activities later.) By establishing a routine, the children know what to expect at different times during the day. Present it to them in a way they can relate (pictograms, simple words, eraser board.)

Click on the link below to see an example of the daily routine we’ve been following during:

Daily Routine

If both parents are working, try to keep the same daily routine so there is continuity for the children. Some parents chose to split their days into 4-hour blocks each (7-11am and 12-4pm) other couples decided to each play outside in the backyard with their children while their partner works. Work as a team. If one or both parents has suddenly lost their employment you must give each other some personal space to grieve. We attribute a big part of our self-worth to our job here in North America.

Activity examples

Give the new routine time for everyone to settle into the “new normal.” You can also sit down with your child and explain the new reality at their level:

• Your daycare provider is on vacation,
• We’re doing school at home now,
• Mum and dad both want to play with you but we also need some alone time to get work done, please play by yourself until you hear the timer, then we can make bath bombs together.
• What would you like to do with me when I’ve finished X (washing the floors, preparing the meal, my conference call)? I’d like to hear your suggestions too.
• Parents need alone time too. I will set this timer, now you have to play by yourself. When the timer goes off, we can do an activity together.
• If you help me cut the beans and the potatoes afterwards we can go for a walk to hunt for #rainbows in the neighborhood. #cavabienaller

It’s ok to have some screen time. Yesterday I watched a whole movie on Netflix while the kids wreaked havoc in the house. Their bedrooms were a mess but it was nothing we could not clean up afterwards. I paused the movie to check up on the kids when they were too loud or when they were quiet for too long. As long as no one gets hurts. If they made the mess, then they can pick it up again; motivate them to clean up with bribes such as candy, smoothie, tv show, etc.

While I worked on this post, the kids managed to empty the entire contents of their dressers onto the floor and my three-year-old peed herself not once but twice. At least she changed into fresh underwear and pants all by herself (a sign of progress?) Now off to start another load of laundry and look for pee puddles.

My cousin Mary has been living with chronic pain for several years. She is posting video blogs with advice on coping on staying at home for long periods of time on Facebook. Her first tip? “Don’t focus on what you can’t do but instead focus on what you can do.” Sit down and make that wish list of projects you can do at home right now. Then tackle that list one step at a time. Here is the link for more.

You’ve got this.

Slow down.

It will be ok.