I Dreamed of Africa
April 2021
In late April 2021, we received news of a new adventure: my husband would be posted Maputo, Mozambique, in Southeastern Africa. We were so excited! At night, I dreamed of family safaris where we would spot lions and wild elephants. In the day, I imagined an African Quinta Bella, a nice house with many bedrooms, a pool, a nanny, and the luxury of help in the home. We would be living by the beach. Discovering a new country. Tasting new foods. Learning a new language…
At the same time, there was so much to do. Having learnt from past experience from our posting in Honduras with a 4 month old baby and a two-year-old toddler, I felt more confident. We started making mental lists of what we needed to pack and prepare. I hoarded all types of books, I planned ahead and scoured Buy Nothing posts to gather up 3+ years of summer clothes and toys for the children. I also reached out to the expat community to learn about daily life in our host country. We took a self defense course online, I bought guidebooks and read up on Africa. I prepared myself mentally for the perks and challenges of a level 5 difficulty posting. The list of pros and cons ebbed and flowed according to my mood. But it always boiled down to: Carpe diem– it’s now or never- let’s take the opportunity while we can.
May 2021
I dreamed of Africa, a continent I had explored only briefly during our honeymoon trip to Kenya 8 years ago. Mozambique was on a whole new place with a different climate, vegetation, culture and even a new language: Portuguese. I am also aware of the danger of a single story, and I recognize that my understanding of Africa is limited.
I was granted leave without pay from my school board. On a whim, I applied for an online position at the Ministry of Education of Quebec. Surprisingly, I landed my dream job working from home; my role is to select appropriate children’s literature and make suggestions for classroom teaching applications. I could telework and only needed to go into the office in Montréal a handful of times over the year. We figured this would be manageable with the overseas posting. Nonetheless, I worried all summer about how I would adapt to working from home. I agonized about where I would set up my work desk in our three bedroom house. These were minor problems and most people shrugged me off: half the world had been through these dilemmas due to the mandatory work from home Covid rules.
June 2021
One afternoon in June, my son’s school secretary called out of the blue. “I have your son here at the office, he cut his knee and hurt himself. He is crying and says he won’t be coming to this school next year since he is going to Africa?” Pause. “Why would a little blond boy be going to Africa in the midst of a Pandemic?” was the subtext. I reassured the secretary that it was all a misunderstanding. We were posting to Mozambique in the fall. (Still, my gut told me to sign up T for first grade in September at our local school. We also payed to keep a spot for B at the Montessori daycare where she was so happy.) In the evenings, my husband and I methodically researched International bilingual schools in Maputo that would best fit their budding personalities. We even made a verbal agreement to rent out our house to a colleague.
July 2021
Taking full advantage of the loosening of travel restrictions during the summer months, we crammed our calendar with promises to visit friends and family, all the time thinking we might not see them again in person for 3 to 4 years. At the end of the summer, our family decided that my husband would leave for Africa in late October, and that I would join him afterwards with the children for Christmas. We did not want to disrupt the semester at school. As well, I wanted some more time to settle my work from home routine. I had many sleepless nights agonizing over how to break the news to my boss that I would be moving across several time zones and could continue to perform to her expectations. I made mental notes, drafted emails, and even practiced my speech in my head.
October 2021
One day in early October, I was at the office in Montreal, getting ready to break the news to my boss in person when my husband calls me unexpectedly at lunchtime. He advises me to not say anything about the posting. The doctors at Health Canada were re-opening his medical file. They wanted to review the health assessment of the posting to Mozambique. They questioned the level of care available in Maputo if he were to have an epileptic seizure, even though his condition is under control with medication and he has not had any seizures since we left Honduras. We had previously been assured that there would be no further impact on postings abroad. The examining physician initially told my husband that he would get his medical clearance, but she changed her mind, the same week he was supposed to leave Canada. The team of doctors felt they could not guarantee he would have access to adequate care in Maputo, even if the chance of a seizure was very remote. I feel the general anxiety surrounding Covid also played into this last minute change. After several weeks of limbo, the decision was final: he did not have medical clearance, we were not going to Mozambique.
The shock and disappointment rolled over us like a tsunami wave. Broken dreams. On top of the shock, I felt physically sick to my stomach. The underlying worry about Ds condition came to the surface. My husband was devastated. It was impossibly hard to tell the kids that our move to Africa was cancelled. We all felt as if we had failed in some way. Why had the decision been made so late in the process? I had spent the summer preparing and suddenly needed to switch gears. This required a huge a mental shift. We felt numb as we mourned the loss and regretted the time spent dreaming and planning for an adventure that would no longer happen.
December 2021
At the same time, I can only imagine the stress we would have lived. My husband the diplomat living halfway around the world, me at home with the kids. In December, flights to and from South Africa (as well as Mozambique) were effectively cancelled. There was a total travel ban. We would have been in limbo, between Canada and Mozambique, the family separated on two different continents; our house rented and its contents sitting in a shipping container somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
January 2022
Most friends and family reacted to the news something like: “Oh! That’s such bad news. But look on the bright side, we will all get to hang out more in person. Yay!” Although we are very disappointed about the whole situation, I am happy to spend more time in Canada with friends and family. Maybe this particular posting in Africa was not meant to be. We look forward to new adventures in 2022.
Amy, I’m so looking forward to spending time ion Montreal with you guys. You’ll have other postings to come in the future.
Wow that was an epic piece of writing well done Amy . Adversity brings out the best . It is lovely you are going to be so much closer to us . Mum
Amy,
I’m truly grateful for more time together.
Thanks for sharing this story. The impacts of diplomatic life on families are rarely shared, and they’re huge and a big determinant of whether people stay with the service. It took strength to write this post.
Also, I was happy to be quoted “Oh! That’s such bad news. But look on the bright side, we will all get to hang out more in person. Yay!”
Amy, how exciting!!! And what a letdown. However, life has been a sad story for everyone since Covid first appeared.
Do I understand you guys are now living in Montreal? Or are you back in Ottawa?
I’m sure the future holds some wonderful adventures for you and your family.
Lots of love.
Amy,
Es un placer leerte ! Siento como si estuviéramos hablando en Quinta Bella !
Como dicen por ahí … por algo sería que no fue Mozambique y cada vez que pase el tiempo lo entenderás más .
Ojalá fuera Bogotá… o más bien … será el destino perfecto para ustedes .
Estoy de acuerdo con Ryan , mil gracias por compartir sobre los desafíos de la vida diplomática .
Abrazote fuerte , los queremos y extrañamos !
Amy, me encantó leer tu historia y aventuras, recuerda que las cosas pasan por algo, seguro Dios tiene algo especial para Ustedes un nuevo proyecto. Sigue disfrutando la vida, te mandamos un gran abrazo desde México, para ti y toda tu familia. Que este 2022, sea un año lleno de luz, amor, bendicione y nuevos proyectos.
And ‘outsiders’ sometimes imagine our diplomatic spouse lives revolve around G&Ts by the swimming-pool…
You describe your emotions so well!
I have been reading out some of your posts and i can state nice stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your website.